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Nikita, tortoiseshell cat and great philosopher, passed away at her home on Thursday, 18 February 2010, after a short battle with lymphoma. She is survived by her servants, Leslie “Chief Tin Opener” Gilotti and Neil “That Bearded Lady” Walsh.
Throughout her life, Nikita was a gifted orator, renowned for passionate, persuasive and informative treatises on a variety of topics. Her most moving lectures included “You Really Want to Give Me That Smoked Salmon, Don’t You?”, “HUMANS: You Must Have A Feline Escort To The Bathroom At All Times,” and “Finding the Perfect Fluffy White Rug: What Every Cat Should Know About Hairball Expulsion”, all delivered in a melodious style that one enthusiastic reviewer cited as “reminiscent of Rosemary Clooney’s 1954 hit, ‘Mambo Italiano’”.
